17th 4月 2006

Father’s death: Mother cried, but I could not cry

Father’s death: Mother cried, but I could not cry
My father’s disease was discovered when I was a third grade elementary school student.
It was liver cancer but the name had been kept secret from him. At the time liver cancer always meant death.
He needed emergency surgery. However even after the operation, the surgeon said, “It’s too late. There’s nothing I could do.” We were told by doctors he was to be within a maximum of 4 years of death.
It was a remarkably cold day on February 4th. After a 3 year and 10-month battle with cancer, my father Sakae was called to heaven. He was 62 years old.
papa033.jpgHe always had few words, always had his temper under control, and loved Japanese culture. He was born in south island in Japan before WW2. During the war, he moved to China in opposition of the war, where he graduated from high school. He then went back to Japan and in spite of receiving training to become a solder, the war luckily ended before he could use it.
During the funeral service, my mother cried so much but I couldn’t cry.
For 13 year old children, death doesn’t mean father’s death but simply “death.” I couldn’t stop thinking: “One day I will die as well”. The thought filled my mind.
The bubble economy bursting
After father’s death, the other dark shadow came knocking on Sakaeya Kimono Shop’s door.
Kimonos had come not to be sold at all. Just before the bubble economy burst, the Kimono industry started suffering from a recession.
My mother said, “No money! What should we do?” quite often.
The one positive aspect of the Kimono shop had been “No lack for money,”but it was now gone. I had to study,“be pertinent.”
The Kimono shop became no longer attractive to me.
Therefore it was natural that I had no idea of becoming a Kimono shop owner.
Until last year I hated the Kimono shop because it was the reason for my loneliness, uncoolness and poorness.
Now it feels strange writing this Blog as the Kimono shop’s second generation owner.
I had been looking for The Blue Bird outside, but it seems I have found it inside instead.

Leave a Reply